Anat despised their love. There was no beauty in it, only weakness. Love made wise men fools. It blinded Aset to the lies Sokar spun around her and the pleas of her family fell on deaf ears. The betrayal wounded her deeper than she cared to admit and when her sire entered before the rest she dared only meet her eyes for the briefest of moments. Instead Anat let Nicolas’s words capture her attention settling into a familiar stillness as she focused on his voice.
“Give me the box.”
Even unadorned there was no mistaking what the box held. That Aset literally carried Sokar’s heart in her hands only served as a cruel reminder of whom she had chosen. Anat felt a sense of relief as she watched it pass from her sire to the Waking Lord’s waiting grasp. For a moment she could allow herself to believe that Aset might still be saved. She had been vulnerable and Sokar fed her honey-coated lies. Perhaps, in time, she might see the horrible truth of his deception.
“Show me your worth, Eternal, and I promise you will live forever.”
As the scale tipped with the weight of Sokar’s sins Anat moved to her sire’s side. She took Aset’s icy hand in her own and whispered a familiar prayer into her ear. It was not a gesture made in comfort, though Aset clung to her like a lifeline. She could only imagine what if felt like as the bond Aset felt for Sokar faded - just a little - and wondered if she resented her. But if Anat was determined to spare her then she could not risk her sire’s frenzy. Her chest tightened as she waited to hear the death Sokar would choose. Closing her eyes she braced herself, hoping that for once Sokar would yield.
“If I am to stay on this side of the dark river I would not do so in my Warrior childe, but with the form of my beloved first wife, Aset.”
Anat might have admired him a little had he not stolen her sire from her, poisoned her as he had his followers. Even in the face of his execution Sokar met it with a wretched pride. She could only feel the anger growing in her, threatening to devour her in a blind rage. This is what love was. It was selfish and self-serving. It was condemning someone to the terrible burden of remembering. You don’t know what you’re asking. Anat wrapped her arms around Aset as if they alone could protect her from Sokar’s folly.
“When you are finished, consume his wife’s as well. Let them be forever wed within you, eternally together.”
A moment existed between Anat hearing Nicolas speak and hearing his words. In that space of time the Chateau, the people within it, even her sire disappeared. When the words finally settled in her mind, grave and final, the world came rushing back all at once. It was like being knocked to the ground. She couldn’t have breathed if she wanted to. Her arms fell from around Aset to hang by her side. This is what love cost. Aset’s cheek was cold under her lips and the look Anat gave her was filled with profound sadness for what had to be. Just as Abraham was ready to sacrifice his beloved son to his God, so too did Anat surrender her sire to Set’s will. Except there would be no happy ending, only the hope that within Murat she would be redeemed.
“May Osiris burn you for the pain you have caused!”
The words would have broken her heart if she had a heart to break. Had there been any doubt at the Waking Lord’s decree it was gone, erased by Aset’s final breath. They shattered any delusion Anat had that she could have been saved. In a way it was a relief to know that her sire’s betrayal was complete and whole. There would be no lingering curiosity, no room for might-have-beens. It didn’t stop Anat from feeling abandoned. Aset taught her to love Sutekh, and to submit to His love in return all while forsaking it herself.
"Not all tests of faith involve a heart or scale."
For the first time since she had arrived Anat felt alone. She could not bear to meet the faces of those around her. She wouldn’t be able to stand it if they pitied her…could not stand to see them weary and scarred from gruesome events in Seattle. So she stared at the floor, now stained with old blood and ash, until another’s presence stirred her. Murat’s sudden appearance at her side calmed her. She took the comfort in silence, hoping he knew that she did not blame him. If he wanted her forgiveness he would have it, though she saw nothing to forgive. Maybe now Aset would finally know the joy of eternal devotion to Set. This is what love was.
